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"Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?"
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"Any fool can marry, but only the wise live happily ever after."
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Personal Development
"Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance."
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Personal Development
"Marriage is a million piece puzzle, a pristine and exciting pursuit at the beginning that gradually becomes a daunting task, usually more challenging than anticipated. It is only those truly committed to solving that puzzle who witness in the end the miraculous outcome of every tiny piece laid out and pressed together in an inspiring and envious creation-a treasure only time, resoluteness, and perseverance could create."
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Personal Development
"Perhaps my problem in marriage-and it is the problem of many women-was to want both intimacy and independence. It is a difficult line to walk, yet both needs are important to a marriage."
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Personal Development
"Not cohabitation but consensus constitutes marriage."
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Personal Development
"What is fascinating about marriage is why anyone wants to get married."
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Personal Development
"Any good marriage is secret territory, a necessary white space on society's map. What others don't know about it is what makes it yours."
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Personal Development
"Never marry when under the guise you need to 'see if it'll work', but rather marry because in your mind you want to make it work."
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Personal Development
"When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory."
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Personal Development
"A man's love, till it has been chastened and fastened by the feeling of duty which marriage brings with it, is instigated mainly by the difficulty of pursuit."
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"I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy."
Trust
"Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?"
Marriage
"What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."
Business
"Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways."
Parenting
"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch."
Marriage
"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."
Internet
"Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again."
Truth
"Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time."
Time
"The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens."
State
"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run."
Police
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