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"Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD."
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"If you don't have a valentine, hang out with your girlfriends, don't go looking for someone. When it's right, they'll come to you."
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Personal Development
"Our fans want us to be happy and if that means being married or having a girlfriend, they are okay with that. Of course, in this industry it is a bit harder to have normal relationships, but it is possible."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I studied German at school. I lived in Berlin for two years and had a German girlfriend for five years, so I don't find speaking German particularly difficult. Singing was slightly more difficult."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When we meet, I'm interested and I'm curious about what he's doing because he's burning a number from a client. And I'm like, 'Who is this?' and my girlfriend's like, 'That's a drug dealer. Stay away from him.'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes.""
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like being scared every now and then, I like the suspense and the thrills. Nothing like taking a girlfriend to a movie and holding her hand while she jumps."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Appearance is something you should definitely consider when you're going out. Have your girlfriend clip your nails or something like that."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I couldn't feel good about myself hanging out in Armani clothes when my girlfriend can't even pay her heating bill. I'd feel foul and I'd be embarrassed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"On-screen relationships are the best because you don't have to worry about saying the wrong things. And if the guy's got a girlfriend, or I'm not attracted to him, it's even better. It's just my character kissing his character."
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Personal Development
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"Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD."
Girlfriend
"The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."
Time
"If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?"
Talking
"Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much."
Soul
"If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time."
Time
"The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time."
Funny
"I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig."
Money
"It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks."
Funny
"I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion."
Care
"I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with."
Work
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