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"Probably it is impossible for humor to be ever a revolutionary weapon. Candide can do little more than generate irony."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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Personal Development
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"What marks the artist is his power to shape the material of pain we all have."
Power
"The poet is in command of his fantasy, while it is exactly the mark of the neurotic that he is possessed by his fantasy."
Writing
"It is now life and not art that requires the willing suspension of disbelief."
Life
"This is the great vice of academicism, that it is concerned with ideas rather than with thinking."
Creativity
"There is no connection between the political ideas of our educated class and the deep places of the imagination."
Imagination
"The function of literature, through all its mutations, has been to make us aware of the particularity of selves, and the high authority of the self in its quarrel with its society and its culture. Literature is in that sense subversive."
Society
"We are all ill: but even a universal sickness implies an idea of health."
Health
"We are at heart so profoundly anarchistic that the only form of state we can imagine living in is Utopian; and so cynical that the only Utopia we can believe in is authoritarian."
Heart
"Youth is a time when we find the books we give up but do not get over."
Time
"Probably it is impossible for humor to be ever a revolutionary weapon. Candide can do little more than generate irony."
Humor
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