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"Comedy is difficult, especially slapstick. The trick is to have fun while you are performing it."
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"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."

"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."

"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."

"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."

"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."

"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving."
Explore more quotes by Maureen O'Hara

"I watch and listen to movies today and am shocked by the way actors deliver their lines. Everybody mumbles now and I don't understand why."

"Charles Laughton signed me to my first movie contract at 17. He later asked my parents if he could adopt me."

"As the 1960s began, a new breed of Hollywood leading lady was emerging. She was elegant, international, and wonderfully comedic."

"I'm terrified about the day that I enter the gates of heaven and God says to me, just a minute."
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