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"More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own."
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"Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers."
People

"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"
Time

"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."
Iraq

"You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch."
War

"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."
God

"Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day."
Father

"The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up."
Crime

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
Men

"If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates."
God

"According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it."
Money
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"Always act as if you are living the epitome of a magnificent life."
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Personal Development

"Participate in your dreams today. There are unlimited opportunities available with this new day. Take action on those wonderful dreams you've had in your mind for so long. Remember, success is something you experience when you act accordingly."
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Personal Development

"You do not necessarily have to get before you do but when you do, you shall get."
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Personal Development

"Everything you do, do with love."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Wishes and wants do not transform a person, actions and reactions do so! Show the world your plans by the actions you take progressively and consistently."
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Personal Development

"One more action to transform your dreams, one more passion to reform your brand; give one more trial and you'll never regret your willingness to hold on!"
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Personal Development

"Don't go to sleep to dream. Wake up and dream."
Author Name
Personal Development

"He who has a task to perform must know how to take sides, or he is quite unworthy of it."
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Personal Development

"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps."
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Personal Development

"As Americans, we typically move full steam ahead without much regard to mindfulness or thoughtful reflection, often to one's own detriment. Yet it is that same propensity for bold action which makes fulfilling the "American Dream" possible-where an immigrant can come to our country with nothing and achieve extraordinary things."
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Personal Development
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