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P. J. O'Rourke

"If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult."

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"If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult."

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Amber Hurdle

"She knew Neal loved her. Good for him for realizing it wasn't enough to make him happy. That was very mature of him. He was probably saving them both a lot of heartache."

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"I've got a pretty good idea what children are, and we're not children. Children can lose sometimes, and nobody cares."

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Amber Hurdle

"Growing up, I have discovered over time, is rather like housework: never finished."

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Amber Hurdle

"But no matter how much parents and grandparents may have sinned against the child, the man who is really adult will accept these sins as his own condition which has to be reckoned with. Only a fool is interested in other people's guilt, since he cannot alter it. The wise man learns only from his own guilt. He will ask himself: Who am I that all this should happen to me? To find the answer to this fateful question he will look into his own heart."

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Amber Hurdle

"A man learns with age, if he is lucky."

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Amber Hurdle

"Raging over something that is invaluable can portray an individual's sense of immaturity and lack of understanding about his or her actual needs for survival."

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Amber Hurdle

"You know what the worst thing about adults is? ...They're not always adults. But that's what I like about them."

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Amber Hurdle

"That is surely childhood's end, when you look at a thing like a rabbit needing skinned and have to say: "Nobody else is going to do this."

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Amber Hurdle

"You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness."

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Amber Hurdle

"For us lads of eighteen they ought to have been mediators and guides to the world of maturity, the world of work, of duty, of culture, of progress - to the future."

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"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Never fight an inanimate object."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380 SL convertible."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside."
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