"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."

Children, School, Years

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"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."

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"In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls."

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"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know."

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Exlpore more Children quotes

"Children dwell in their dreams. Get them the wings and they'll fly."

"Gift the children corruption free nation. Happy Children's day."

"The children of the revolution are always ungrateful, and the revolution must be grateful that it is so."

"Children wish fathers looked but with their eyes; fathers that children with their judgment looked; and either may be wrong."

"You know, my children go to a local, local catholic school just down the road."

"The thing I want more than anything else? I want to have children. I used to feel for every child I had, I would adopt another."

"Find a good teacher, as I found for my sons. I feel the worst thing you can do is to try and teach your own children yourself, because there is a natural rebellion that occurs."

"It eats you up. It eats you up. And you have to - I had a lot of help. I had a lot of therapy. And I was able to - because it was hard, you know, to - you can't just lay it on friends and children."

"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others."

"I don't like to be gone all weekend and at night too. Because for 20 years, I've had children who are in school."

Explore more quotes by Lenny Bruce

"In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls."

"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know."

"The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't."

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"Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it."

"There are never enough I Love You's."

"If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone."

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."