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Johnny Vegas

"There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out."

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"There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out."

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"You can wipe out your opponents. But if you do it unjustly you become eligible for being wiped out yourself."

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"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world."

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"There is more pleasure in loving than in being beloved."

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"No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence."

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"If a writer knows enough about what he is writing about, he may omit things that he knows. The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water."

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"Where every something, being blent together turns to a wild of nothing."

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"Quit aspiring and dreaming and start being."

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"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."

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"Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth."

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"I enjoy the Web site a lot and I like being able to talk to my readers. I've always had a very close relationship with them."

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"They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day."
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"I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again."
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"There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource."
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"It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether."
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"You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear."
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"We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves."
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"I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show."
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"Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!"
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"If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it."
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"When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that."
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