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"Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody."
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"I always see things that I can improve. But frankly with Stripes, I'm surprised at how effective it is, even today, and how vibrant that movie is and how juicy the performances all are."
"Have you realized that today is the tomorrow you talked about yesterday? It is your responsibility to change your life for the better."
"Eddie Jordan found me all the drives. If I am with Tyrrell today, it is because Eddie was there."
"A woman today is good, or she is bad, according to the way she does a thing - and not because of the thing itself."
"They teach anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies."
"I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for."
Explore more quotes by Dick Van Dyke
"We had all week to rehearse. An audience would come in at the end of the week and we'd our little show. Most of the ad- libbing happened during the week on the show."
"I cannot tell you what it means when children recognize. This is about the third generation for me. And when kids that small recognize me, it really pleases me, very gratifying."
"I think most people will tell you that. They can go along and, while they're denying that they are addicted, say it's stress this, it's this, it's that. But I - it's - I think - I really believe there is a gene. Some people become addicted and others don't."
"So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was working after school and weekends. I did the news; I did everything. I did - played records."
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