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Rita Rudner

"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."

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"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."

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Amber Hurdle

"I invented the psychological histories and the relationship between Jack and Susan Stanton. I didn't know anything about the Clintons. I don't know more about the Clintons' marriage than you do."

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Amber Hurdle

"The real reason a husband and wife always fight is because they always focus on the ugliness in each other and have forgotten to focus on the beauties that attracted them at first."

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Amber Hurdle

"There were times after my marriage ended where, you know, I really felt like I was at the bottom of a mountain, there was a great big, fog up there, and I'm never going to cross to the other side."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them."

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Amber Hurdle

"Successful marriage hinges on the application of knowledge - knowing and understanding God's principles not the exchange of love.. Brother you can be in love all you want but that doesn't make the woman the right person. Same with ladues, you can be head over heels with him but that doesn't make him the right husband.In all your getting, get knowledge and understanding."

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Amber Hurdle

"Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance."

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Amber Hurdle

"A young man married is a man that's marred."

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Amber Hurdle

"Marriage n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master a mistress and two slaves making in all two."

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Amber Hurdle

"You do not marry a woman, but you marry your imagination of her."

Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine."
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Rita Rudner
"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"
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Rita Rudner
"A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax."
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Rita Rudner
"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."
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Rita Rudner
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
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Rita Rudner
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
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Rita Rudner
"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
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Rita Rudner
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
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Rita Rudner
"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."
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Rita Rudner
"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."
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