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"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
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"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
Love
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
Friendship
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Life
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
People
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
Reason
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
Computer
"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."
Life
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"Behind every effect there is a cause. You can never eliminate an effect without first understanding its cause."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Reason and free inquiry are the only effectual agents against error."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Man's life, as required by his nature, is not the life of a mindless brute, of a looting thug or a mooching mystic, but the life of a thinking being-not life by means of force or fraud, but life by means of achievement-not survival at any price, since there's only one price that pays for man's survival: reason."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Captain Vimes believed in logic, in much the same way as a man in a desert believed in ice -- i.e., it was something he really needed, but this just wasn't the world for it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's easy to get sidetracked with thoughts that involve much money and precious things, but before you launch into that mode, reason well."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Play with reason and doubt will close all the gates."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Religion is a distraction from true education."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cheese-mites asked how the cheese got there, And warmly debated the matter; The Orthodox said that it came from the air, And the Heretics said from the platter. They argued it long and they argued it strong, And I hear they are arguing now; But of all the choice spirits who lived in the cheese, Not one of them thought of a cow."
Author Name
Personal Development
"For some reason in Spring Training, everything just clicked. You don't try to do anything in Spring Training but get ready, but things fell into place."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's heartbreaking but we're trying to get over it. As disappointed as we were, I think that somehow you have to find a way to think that it happened for a reason."
Author Name
Personal Development
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