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"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
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"Human reason in its pure use, so long as it was not critically examined, has first tried all possible wrong ways before it succeeded in finding the one true way."
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Personal Development
"Religion is a distraction from true education."
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Personal Development
"Reason is flawless, de jure, but reasoners are not, de facto."
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Personal Development
"Don't tell me your evaluation. Give me the facts."
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Personal Development
"I win by means of nothing but logic and I surrender to nothing but logic. I do not surrender my reason or deal with men who surrender theirs."
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Personal Development
"Behind every effect there is a cause. You can never eliminate an effect without first understanding its cause."
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Personal Development
"If you follow reason far enough it always leads to conclusions that are contrary to reason."
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Personal Development
"The only reason for using another cut is to improve the scene."
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Personal Development
"When everybody worships all sort of religious lies and illogical myths, dare to be there, in the land of reason!"
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Personal Development
"I will no longer argue with the senseless and unreasonable, for they are void of reason and common sense."
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Personal Development
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"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."
Night
"Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy."
Brother
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
Work
"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
Coffee
"He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites."
Disaster
"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."
Life
"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"
Children
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
Friendship
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