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"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
Author Name
Personal Development
"God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought I'd see that guy's finger nail sticking out of my cock."
Author Name
Personal Development
"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"Our money is bait money, and bait money is not to be used."
Money
"I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."
Force
"When Jesus comes back, these crazy, greedy, capitalistic men are gonna kill him again."
Man
"Another thing that freaks me out is time. Time is like a book. You have a beginning, a middle and an end. It's just a cycle."
Time
"I don't understand why people would want to get rid of pigeons. They don't bother no one."
People
"I feel bad about my outlook, how I feel about people and society, and that I'll never be part of society the way I should."
Society
"People are going to say what they say. I know sometimes I say things; I offend people."
People
"Sometimes I put on a ski mask and dress in old clothes, go out on the streets and beg for quarters."
Humor
"The only thing I do is just pray for inspiration, for a way of thinking, because I don't have any particular goal in sight."
Inspirational
"Every time there's a revolution, it comes from somebody reading a book about revolution. David Walker wrote a book and Nat Turner did his thing."
Time
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