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"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
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"You don't know who is important to you until you actually lose them."
Loss
"There is no such thing as 'too insane' unless others turn up dead due to your actions."
Responsibility
"But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac."
Faith
"Are creeds such simple things like the clothes which a man can change at will and put on at will? Creeds are such for which people live for ages and ages."
Faith
"The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace."
Peace
"For me, the different religions are beautiful flowers from the same garden, or they are branches of the same majestic tree. Therefore, they are equally true, though being received and interpreted through human instruments are equally imperfect."
Spiritual
"I want freedom for the full expression of my personality."
Freedom
"Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal of plan living and high thinking the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants. Man's happiness really lies in contentment."
Simplicity
"What is true of the individual will be tomorrow true of the whole nation if individuals will but refuse to lose heart and hope."
Hope
"You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist."
Peace
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