"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

Baseball, Kids

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"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

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"It's very simple. We are asking baseball to come clean and set the record straight. Either baseball officials seriously want to rid their sport of doping, or they want to brush the issue under the carpet. So far, we haven't seen much evidence of the former."

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"I'd never even been to Wrigley Field. I never even enjoyed baseball that much, but I loved being there, the crowd was lovely, and they all sang with me!"

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"Well, I wanted to play twenty years in the major leagues. I never made it twenty though. I played nineteen."

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"I always get very calm with baseball."

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"Hitting a baseball well, as in cricket, is a very rare skill. One of most difficult things to do in the world to do, hitting a ball coming at you at ninety miles an hour with a round bat. Wonderful to watch."

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"President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards."

Conan O'Brien, American Entertainer

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"We used to play baseball back in that field and keep an eye out for the bulls."

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"I wasn't athletic. I played baseball, but I was terrible."

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"Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?"

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"It's tempting, because as one senator said to me, 'We know if we invite baseball down, we'll draw a crowd'."

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Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

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"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."

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"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

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"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."

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"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

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"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"

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"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."

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"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."

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"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."

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"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

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