"Please consult your child's Witch doctor before using this product. Diapers may cause severe allergies, internal bleeding, and irreversible sex change."

Satire, Humor, Parenting, Absurdity

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"Please consult your child's Witch doctor before using this product. Diapers may cause severe allergies, internal bleeding, and irreversible sex change."

Exlpore more Satire quotes

"I don't want to see him alone. He says things that annoy me. He gives me good advice."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, Advice, Alone, Truth, Irony

"If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Satire, Humor, Truth, Today, Wisdom

"The troops and their ladies had first drunk champagne. There were also remains of sandwiches, and I stepped on one, which I think was either cucumber or watercress. I scraped it off on the curbing, left it there for germs. I'll tell you this, though: No germ is going to leave the Solar System eating sissy stuff like that.Plutonium! Now there's the stuff to put hair on a microbe's chest."

Kurt Vonnegut, American Author

Satire, Food, Humor, Future, Science

"We are all brothers under the skin - and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it."

Ayn Rand, Russian Writer

Satire, Brotherhood, Skin, Humanity, Sarcasm

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist

Satire, Russia, Denial, Irony, Humor

"Lebanese freedom of speech : You get to say whatever you like as long as the authorities approve of it... Hilarious."

Ziad K. Abdelnour, Lebanese Author

Satire, Freedom, Speech, Authority, Irony

"Hurry, your imaginary heaven is calling you up, my dear holier-than-thou religious nuts."

Fakeer Ishavardas, Indian Spiritual Leader

Satire, Religion, Critique, Faith

"And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned it's capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality."

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

Satire, Technology, Isolation, Reality, Critique

"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks."

Dorothy Parker, American Poet

Satire, Tradition, Change, Humor, Learning

"Happiness is a good business these days, more you talk crap about happiness the large number of crowd you will gather."

Santosh Kalwar, Nepalese Poet

Satire, Happiness, Business, Irony, Truth

Explore more quotes by Kenya Wright

"The very thought of him coming so close to tasting you makes me want to split his head in two."

Jealousy

"He grabbed my hand again. That same warmth hit me, seeping into my skin. I bit my lip and forced myself not to relish in the tingling heat. Samuel's eyes widened. Fangs erupted from his gums. His nostrils flared as he inhaled me."

Attraction

"What made a movie buff different from others was the amount of freakish details they chose to fill their heads with. The typical movie-goer remembered the big lines, the ones that you could find on the film's shirts and posters. Just a bunch of tag-lines used for promotion. A true movie buff memorized the odd ones that said more about the story's theme or characters. A true buff read up on the movie's history."

Cinema

"He growled. The noise echoed through the area. Birds flew from the trees. They appeared like dark dots in the starry sky."

Nature

"Give me another chance. Earlier tonight, you hoped I would be your first. I really did feel honored. I was just caught way off guard, so I fronted a little and rushed upstairs. But when I got to the top, I leaned back against my door and had to catch my breath. I couldn't fucking believe it."

Romance

"We filled the night air with light and shone brighter than all those millions of glittering stars watching us from the sky."

Happiness

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Exlpore more Satire quotes

"I don't want to see him alone. He says things that annoy me. He gives me good advice."

"If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander."

"We are all brothers under the skin - and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it."

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

"Lebanese freedom of speech : You get to say whatever you like as long as the authorities approve of it... Hilarious."

"Hurry, your imaginary heaven is calling you up, my dear holier-than-thou religious nuts."

"And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned it's capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality."

"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks."

"Happiness is a good business these days, more you talk crap about happiness the large number of crowd you will gather."

Explore more quotes by Kenya Wright

"The very thought of him coming so close to tasting you makes me want to split his head in two."

"He grabbed my hand again. That same warmth hit me, seeping into my skin. I bit my lip and forced myself not to relish in the tingling heat. Samuel's eyes widened. Fangs erupted from his gums. His nostrils flared as he inhaled me."

"He growled. The noise echoed through the area. Birds flew from the trees. They appeared like dark dots in the starry sky."

"Give me another chance. Earlier tonight, you hoped I would be your first. I really did feel honored. I was just caught way off guard, so I fronted a little and rushed upstairs. But when I got to the top, I leaned back against my door and had to catch my breath. I couldn't fucking believe it."

"We filled the night air with light and shone brighter than all those millions of glittering stars watching us from the sky."

"Blood is no longer flowing in my brain right now. It's somewhere else."

"He's not going to stop this. He's really going to kill himself."

"In this cage, behind these bars, I think of you and me."

"No matter how much he'd done to me, my heart could not be done with him."