"Please consult your child's Witch doctor before using this product. Diapers may cause severe allergies, internal bleeding, and irreversible sex change."

Satire, Humor, Parenting, Absurdity

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"Please consult your child's Witch doctor before using this product. Diapers may cause severe allergies, internal bleeding, and irreversible sex change."

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"Most politicians lie for the same reason a monkey swings by his tail, which is to say because he can."

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"Piracy n: commerce without its folly-swaddles - just as God made it."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist

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"Or he'd watch the news: more plagues, more famines, more floods, more insect or microbe or small-mammal outbreaks, more droughts, more chickenshit boy-soldier wars in distant countries. Why was everything so much like itself?"

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

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"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."

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"On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

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"Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality."

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"I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am."

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Explore more quotes by Kenya Wright

"Draw: For the most part, a draw occurs when it appears that neither side will win."

Balance

"Why let me heal when you'll just break me anyway?'Because breaking you is half the fun."

Pain

"His power sings to your blood. I witnessed your reaction to him just now. He'll be a king in a few years... And you'll be his queen."

Romance

"I'd been just like her, a youngster with something to say, a rebel through street art, leaving my mark on public buildings, to taunt the government and humor the public."

Art

"Ever since I drank your blood, my head has been crazy... I won't lie. The connection gives me a lot of power over you. I could read your thoughts and speak to you wherever I am, even several miles away."

Power

"And you're absolutely breathtaking."

Beauty

"Everyone nodded in silent agreement, and then one by onedisappeared into the castle's dark shadowswhere night met blackened airand creepy thingswhispered the most haunting words into the wind."

Fear

"I shoved his arm with all my strength, but it wouldn't budge. His waist rippled with sculpted muscles. His chest and shoulders bulged and spoke of great strength. It was one thing to assume he had a big frame, another to have it confirmed with the moon's light."

Strength

"I know you've been through an ordeal, but you don't want to start drowning yourself in liquor. You'll find that it's easy to do, but by the time you realize it could start to be a problem, you're already over that cliff."

Recovery

"Art isn't a means for income when it comes to Hex. He would do it if he was trapped on an island by himself or the richest man in the world. For him, art is like breathing. He just has to do it."

Art