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"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Time
"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."
People
"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."
Listening
"Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established."
Example
""I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?"
Language
"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."
Purpose
"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."
America
"There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past."
Future
"There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi."
Humor
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
Society
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"There are talking dogs all over the place, unbelievably boring they are, on and on and on about sex and shit and smells, and smells and shit and sex, and do you love me, do you love me, do you love me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"What? he asked in a low voice."You looked like you spent your last joy bill.He hissed, "What does that even mean?"I don't know. I was just trying it out."Well, it doesn't work. It doesn't make sense. And anyway, I've got plenty of joy bills. Loads.Helen said, "What's happening there on your phone?"A very small joy debit.His older sister's smile shone brightly. "You see, it does work. Now, did you or did you not need to get out of that room?Gansey inclined his head in slight acknowledgment. Gansey siblings knew each other well."You're so welcome, Helen said. "Let me know if you need me to write a joy check."I really don't think it works."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?" she says after a few minutes of silence have passed."Honestly?""Does now seem like the time for honesty?"I look at her from the corner of my eye. "I think they're going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment."
Author Name
Personal Development
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