"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."

Funny, Jokes

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"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."

Exlpore more Funny quotes

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Funny,

"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Funny, Life, Congress

"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."

W. Somerset Maugham, British Playwright

Funny, Life

"Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one."

Jimmy Fallon, American Comedian

Funny, Land

"Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it."

Ben Stiller, American Comedian

Funny, Time, Genius, Desire

"We have actors from other films, from 'Baywatch,' and so on, and these people are looking exactly the opposite of what they are. The transformations were so smooth, and so funny to watch, it was unbelievable."

Joe Viterelli, American Actor

Funny, People, Actors

"I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny."

Orlando Jones, American Comedian

Funny, Movies, Now, Thinking

"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."

Tom Petty, American Musician

Funny, Music, People, Being

"This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!"

Vanessa Hudgens, American Actress

Funny, Sound

"I found out a long time ago that if I didn't have a good story for a song, I could just make one up! Now it seems over half the stories in my show are made up. The funny thing is, those seem to be the ones that resonate the most with the audiences."

Ronny Cox, American Actor

Funny, Time, Audiences, Now

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

Work, Mortality, Pretty

"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"

Children,

"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."

People,

"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."

Love, Gambling

"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."

Cause,

"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."

Dogs,

"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

Life, Women, Sex

"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."

Funny, Jokes

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

Fun, Machine, Want, Will

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"

Friendship, Friend, Want