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Mitch Hedberg

"I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too."

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"I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too."

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Mitch Hedberg
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."

Dream

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Mitch Hedberg
"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

Wrong

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Mitch Hedberg
"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."

Water

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Mitch Hedberg
"I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too."

Drugs

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Mitch Hedberg
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."

Cause

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Mitch Hedberg
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"

Children

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Mitch Hedberg
"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."

Gambling

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Mitch Hedberg
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

Tennis

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Mitch Hedberg
"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky."

People

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Mitch Hedberg
"It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?"

People

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Aberjhani

"Opium makes you quick-witted - perhaps only because it calms the nerves and stills the emotions. Nothing, not even death, seems so important."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I was very laced with drugs myself, but Fred seemed to be even more so than me. That might have had something to do with it. That might have had something to do with nobody wanting to play my records, too, I don't know."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Hallucinations are bad enough. But after awhile you learn to cope with things like seeing your dead grandmother crawling up your leg with a knife in her teeth. Most acid fanciers can handle this sort of thing. But nobody can handle that other trip-the possibility that any freak with $1.98 can walk into the Circus-Circus and suddenly appear in the sky over downtown Las Vegas twelve times the size of God, howling anything that comes into his head. No, this is not a good town for psychedelic drugs."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"It's so easy for a kid to join a gang, to do drugs... we should make it that easy to be involved in football and academics."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I stayed a virgin until I was 23. I didn't do drugs or drink or smoke."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Drugs are marvelous if you want to escape, but reality is so rich, why escape?"

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"But the fact is, nobody gets off drugs unless they really want to, and I really wanted to."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I can meet any producer in Hollywood and look them in the eye, knowing I didn't sleep with them, or do drugs with them."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I think drugs were used by me as a way of suppressing my natural spirit."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I'm very fond of drugs."

Author Name

Personal Development

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