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"Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
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Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
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Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
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Personal Development
"Zombies are far better than religious people, because they do not discriminate in killing."
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Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
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Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
"Milk is the only juice in a world of cows."
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Personal Development
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"Nothing could make me forget what the Reagan years had actually been like."
Politics
"One of the juiciest pleasures of life is to be able to salute and embrace, as elected leaders and honored representatives, people whom you first met when they were on the run or in exile or (like Adam) in and out of jail. I was to have this experience again, and I hope to have it many more times in the future: it sometimes allows me to feel that life is full of point."
Inspirational
"I've always regarded it as a test of character to dislike the Kennedys. I don't really respect anyone who falls for Camelot."
Opinion
"I don't envy or much respect people who are completely politicised."
Politics
"The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks."
Philosophy
"Scientists have an expression for hypotheses that are utterly useless even for learning from mistakes. They refer to them as being "not even wrong." Most so-called spiritual discourse is of this type."
Science
"And how easy it is to recognize the revenant shapes that the old unchanging enemies-racism, leader worship, superstition-assume when they reappear amongst us (often bodyguarded by their new apologists)."
Awareness
"Here we are then, I was thinking, in a war to the finish between everything I love and everything I hate. Fine. We will win and they will lose. A pity that we let them pick the time and place of the challenge, but we can and we will make up for that."
Conflict
"A melancholy lesson of advancing years is the realisation that you can't make old friends."
Friendship
"Those who say that I am being punished are saying that god can't think of anything more vengeful than cancer for a heavy smoker."
Critique
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