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"If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death."
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"Death and I are head to head in a total collision, pure and mutual distaste."

"As long as you don't make waves, ripples, life seems easy. But that's condemning yourself to impotence and death before you are dead."

"Vulgar and common persons, as they carry nothing out of this world, so they leave nothing in it: they receive no eminency in their birth, they acquire none in their life, they have none when they die, they leave none at their death."

"I've told my children that when I die, to release balloons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated. For me, death is a graduation."
Explore more quotes by Paul Lynde

"My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of that."

"A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world."

"Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics."

"Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable."

"I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I always pour wine from that."

"I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me."

"The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst room for conversation. I'd get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never got to talk to you."

"My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables, for that matter."
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