"This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth - ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!"

Satire, Nation, Hypocrisy, Vanity, Money

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"This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth - ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!"

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"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

Satire, Stupidity, Mother, Truth, Irony

"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."

John Steinbeck, American Author

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"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."

John Updike, American Novelist

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"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

Mark Twain, American Author

Satire, God, War, Americans, Geography

"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."

Angelica Hopes, Swiss Author

Satire, Guilt, Crime, Irony

"Never make fun of people who are different...unless they have more money, power and influence. Then you must."

Ziad K. Abdelnour, Lebanese Author

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"We're roughage," Tyger said. "If we don't cause a little intestinal distress, no one knows we're there."

Neal Shusterman, American Author

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"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."

Neil Gaiman, British Author

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"Lebanese freedom of speech : You get to say whatever you like as long as the authorities approve of it... Hilarious."

Ziad K. Abdelnour, Lebanese Author

Satire, Freedom, Speech, Authority, Irony

"Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature."

Jasper Fforde, British Novelist

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Explore more quotes by Mark Twain

"The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives."

Humor

"Never let your education interfere with your learning."

Advice

"Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority for any town?"

Society

"The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe."

Nature

"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language."

Humor

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

Wisdom

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress."

Politics

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it."

Psychology

"It's considered good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."

Social

"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist."

Attitude