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Mark Twain

"This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth - ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!"

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"This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth - ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!"

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Amber Hurdle

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

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Amber Hurdle

"Hurry, your imaginary heaven is calling you up, my dear holier-than-thou religious nuts."

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Amber Hurdle

"And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned it's capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality."

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Amber Hurdle

"Happiness is a good business these days, more you talk crap about happiness the large number of crowd you will gather."

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Amber Hurdle

"Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say 'attaboy'."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is difficult not to write satire."

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Amber Hurdle

"Logically enough, the office and the nunnery have been singularly popular in the imaginations of pornographers. We should not be surprised to learn that the erotic novels of the early modern period were overwhelmingly focused on debauchery and flagellation amongst clergy in vespers and chapels, just as contemporary Internet pornography is inordinately concerned with fellatios and sodomies performed by office workers against a backdrop of work stations and computer equipment."

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Amber Hurdle

"Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away; A single laugh demolished the right arm Of his country."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pray don't talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me quite nervous."

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Amber Hurdle

"Punctuality is the thief of time."

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"The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little."
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"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
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"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."
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"Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable."
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"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
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Mark Twain
"He is now rising from affluence to poverty."
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Mark Twain
"Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat."
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Mark Twain
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."
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Mark Twain
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."
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Mark Twain
"It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense."
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