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"I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator."
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"Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was buying Bob Dylan mainly, everything I could get hold of by him."
Author Name
Personal Development
"And you know, we did it as an independent film, and we weren't expecting it to be on television, and Lifetime ended up buying it. And the viewers responded intensely to that film."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I ended up buying a restaurant. Already we had invested in a gas station and a metal products plant."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm afraid of buying a house or anything, 'cause if there's one paparazzi outside for one day, then they'll never leave."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Most of my friends from college became dental hygienists or went into retail, a lot went into sales. They all started getting married and having kids and buying homes and I was still living like a college student."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was raised in California, so this whole New York winter thing is completely new for me. I've already justified buying seven coats!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I just want to thank all my fans for their loyalty and support-for coming out to the shows and buying the CDs."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The only real indulgence was buying a house. That was a pretty big step."
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Personal Development
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"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"
Birthday
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Thought
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
People
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
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