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"I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator."
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"And you know, we did it as an independent film, and we weren't expecting it to be on television, and Lifetime ended up buying it. And the viewers responded intensely to that film."
"I'm afraid of buying a house or anything, 'cause if there's one paparazzi outside for one day, then they'll never leave."
"For instance, we're always fighting amongst each other. Who gives us the arms? And then we become indebted to wherever we are buying them from - with what? The very resources we need to keep there."
"I ended up buying a restaurant. Already we had invested in a gas station and a metal products plant."
"The only real indulgence was buying a house. That was a pretty big step."
"Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist."
"I was buying Bob Dylan mainly, everything I could get hold of by him."
"I was raised in California, so this whole New York winter thing is completely new for me. I've already justified buying seven coats!"
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright
"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"
"I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy."
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