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"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
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"Fitness determines productivity."

"Every citizen who stops smoking, or loses a few pounds, or starts managing his chronic disease with real diligence, is caulking a crack for the benefit of us all."

"Health and happiness are interconnected."

"There is a wisdom in this beyond the rules of physic: a man's own observation what he finds good of and what he finds hurt of is the best physic to preserve health."

"Nothing is more on the nose,than sun cream."

"In 2001, America 's hospitals provided nearly $21 billion in uncompensated health care services."

"We cannot continue. Our pension costs and health care costs for our employees are going to bankrupt this city."
Explore more quotes by David Letterman

"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."

"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."

"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."

"Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water."

"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."

"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said."

"The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral."
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