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"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The fun we'll have tonight is called figging."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me.He squinted at her. You ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer? I think itstarts about age three.What about men?They get used to it. They better."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There's a hysterical, tired sense of humor that comes after working 14 hours a day, six days a week. I like those things because they take the pressure off the constant stress."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it's great."
Love
"Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike."
Humor
"I would let my kids watch this stuff way before I'd let them watch something like 'Full House' that I think would make them stupid."
Kids
"Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?"
Family
"We have it, we're lucky enough that we've created a show where it's not about... a family, or a kid, it's about a town."
Family
"Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it."
Time
"We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of people didn't, they didn't even know what it was."
Life
"In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever."
Fun
"So we're considering doing a new Christmas album, because there's been Christmas episodes since then, and maybe finally do the version of "The Most Offensive Song Ever" with lyrics intact."
Christian
"I almost bumped into Alec Baldwin and then turned around and Paris Hilton was standing there. And I was like, 'Look, it's stupid spoiled whore.'"
Celebrity
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