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"I don't return anybody's calls unless it's going to mean extra money for me. And I've completely cut off all relationships with any friends that I had before the show. And I've copped an attitude."
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"Money cannot buy you love. But it sure can buy you things that some people will love you for having."

"The Bible does not say money is the root of all evil; it says the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. A poor man who, in his heart, worships the idea of being rich is more vulnerable to its evils than a rich man who has a heart to use it all for the Lord."

"Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust."

"Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to trust nobody."
Explore more quotes by Mike Judge

"One thing I was thinking about is that they probably get their come-uppance about the same percentage that people in real life do. Basically, stealing for all practical purposes might as well be legal in New York."

"People say that the Beavis voice doesn't sound like me or some other voices. Butt-Head I think sounds like me."

"Who is Mike Judge? Let me think. The only way I could possibly answer that question would be in a nonverbal fashion. I think I could do an interpretive dance that would answer that question for you."

"Why should every single character be an honor student who goes around helping others and never doing anything wrong? Is that like the rule or something?"

"They say it figures MTV would do such a vulgar, awful, horrible show and they completely miss that it's satirizing the people who watch MTV."

"It was really weird, when this thing started, to hear lawyers and MTV people calling me and actually saying 'ButtHead.' People tried to avoid it too."

"They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever."
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