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"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
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Exlpore more Wife quotes
"If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter."
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Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
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