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"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
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"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I know at the beginning of our careers, my wife and I were gut wrenchingly competitive."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Do you want to be an artist and a writer, or a wife and a lover? With kids, your focus changes. I don't want to go to PTA meetings."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm still very close friends with his first wife, Neile, who is now remarried."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion."
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Personal Development
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"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
Argument
"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."
People
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."
Life
"Men who do things without being told draw the most wages."
Men
"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
Wife
"What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm."
Favorite
"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
Marriage
"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
Time
"I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it."
Family
"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."
Father
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