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Johnny Carson

"People will pay more to be entertained than educated."

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"People will pay more to be entertained than educated."

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Amber Hurdle

"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."

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Amber Hurdle

"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

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Amber Hurdle

"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one 'race' - the human race - and that we are all members of it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm not sure whay I've been drawn to this subject, except that murder is a subject that has always drawn people for as long as people have been telling stories."

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Amber Hurdle

"If you ask a hundred people, they all give you different answers."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can be around 100 people and be completely alone. People don't realize what it's really like."

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Amber Hurdle

"In our leisure we reveal what kind of people we are."

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Amber Hurdle

"With most people disbelief in a thing is founded on a blind belief in some other thing."

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Amber Hurdle

"One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide."

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Johnny Carson
"I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing."
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Johnny Carson
"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
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Johnny Carson
"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."
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Johnny Carson
"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
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Johnny Carson
"New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved."
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Johnny Carson
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
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Johnny Carson
"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."
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Johnny Carson
"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas."
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Johnny Carson
"Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do."
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Johnny Carson
"Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president."
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