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"Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that."
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"In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing."
"Generally speaking, historically in this country, the care of a child has been thought of as female business."
"That's my only active wish. I think if I sang like Don Henley, this would be a lot more agreeable business."
"Leave the President's family business to him. You will have plenty to do without trying to manage the First Family. They are likely to do fine without your help."
"I was well aware of the fact that once you appeared in Doctor Who as something else, you were ruled out for the part of the Doctor: that was a kind of well known thing in the business."
"Great companies are built on great products."
"The business of the advertiser is to see that we go about our business with some magic spell or tune or slogan throbbing quietly in the background of our minds."
Explore more quotes by Artie Lange
"When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs."
"Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38."
"And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard."
"The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent."
"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."
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