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"Call me a proud American, if you want, but I truly believe that no other nation on Earth possesses the capabilities to put on a more powerful display of underwater mermaid patriotism."
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"Real patriotism embraces the wholly immovable belief that without freedom, the essence of the human soul and the life-breath of the human spirit is doomed to perish for lack of space and absence of light."

"All free men wherever they may live are citizens of Berlin. And therefore as a free man I take pride in the words 'Ich bin ein Berliner.'"

"As the wine went down in the bottles, patriotism arose in the three men. And when the wine was gone they went down the hill arm in arm for comradeship and safety, and they walked into Monterey. In front of an enlistment station they cheered loudly for America and dared Germany to do her worst. They howled menaces at the German Empire until the enlistment sergeant awakened and put on his uniform and came into the street to silence them. He remained to enlist them."

"Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man."

"Let us be sure that those who come after will say of us in our time, that in our time we did everything that could be done. We finished the race; we kept them free; we kept the faith."

"The last slaveholder has been dead for a very long time. The last soldier to endure Valley Forge has been dead much longer. To proudly claim the veteran and disown the slaveholder is patriotism A la carte."

"He who is ready to die for his country is a fool. For he didn't choose where he was born, and where he was born didn't choose him."

"I would entertain the apparently fading idea that patriotism that serves the self is greed dressed in the garments of liberty and adorned with the fashion accessories of other associated patriotic notions."

"America is a willingness of the heart."

"Tens of thousands of brave Americans died to break the chains of British tyranny so that the principles of our Declaration of Independence could take fold and flourish in the birth of a new nation."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry

"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."

"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid."

"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."

"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

"Natives of the Florida Keys often refer to themselves as Conchs, and for good reason: They have been drinking."
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