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Kathy Griffin

"A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor."

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"A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor."

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Akiroq Brost

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

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Akiroq Brost

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

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Akiroq Brost

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

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Akiroq Brost

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

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Akiroq Brost

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

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Akiroq Brost

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

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Akiroq Brost

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

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Akiroq Brost

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

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Akiroq Brost

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

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Akiroq Brost

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

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Kathy Griffin
"I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography."
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"No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there."
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Kathy Griffin
"Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand."
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Kathy Griffin
"A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them."
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Kathy Griffin
"I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R."
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Kathy Griffin
"I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style."
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Kathy Griffin
"The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends."
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Kathy Griffin
"I am in love with Larry David."
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Kathy Griffin
"That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it."
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Kathy Griffin
"I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV."
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