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Rita Rudner

"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."

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"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."

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Akshay Vasu

"Transparency is not the same as looking straight through a building: it's not just a physical idea, it's also an intellectual one."

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Akshay Vasu

"You can always borrow ideas; but unless you improve them very significantly, never behave as if they are your own!"

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"This idea of how everything is interconnected, and the impermanence of things. It sums up the human condition to me, and it helps me on my path."

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Akshay Vasu

"In the jungle of ideas, it is hard to find the true direction! The paths of the wrong ideas often seem to be very alluring!"

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Akshay Vasu

"To move the earth like Archimedes, one needs not a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it. There is an easier way: Give a genius a beautiful remote house in a green valley where he can think calmly, and he shall move the earth with ideas!"

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Akshay Vasu

"Create a good idea and leave it in the darkness; you will then see that people will come with the candles in their hands to find it, because just like the bad, the good has also a special scent!"

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Akshay Vasu

"It is very kind of you to consider the possibility of my working in Pasadena, an idea which certainly is attractive, especially since it would hold out the prospect of your cooperation or advice."

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Akshay Vasu

"I couldn't do any of my other characters, you know? But I could have done the lady. Church Lady's Malibu Beach party is an idea I have for a movie, too. Yes."

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Akshay Vasu

"From the port of ideas, not only the most clever ones put out to sea and conquer the world but also the most stupid ones do this!"

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Akshay Vasu

"The idea was to make a movie ourselves with everyone playing a cameo role. Preferably before we all go, 'cos poor old Charlie Wilson was murdered, and of course Buster has gone."

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Rita Rudner
"We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet."

Feet

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Rita Rudner
"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."

Old

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Rita Rudner
"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Marriage

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Rita Rudner
"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."

Time

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Rita Rudner
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."

People

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Rita Rudner
"Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?"

Men

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Rita Rudner
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Life

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Rita Rudner
"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"

Woman

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Rita Rudner
"Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in."

Men

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Rita Rudner
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."

Love

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