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"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I saw Virginia Woolf, somewhere between the first and second acts, someone I had known as my mother became somebody else."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A mother's love is more beautiful than any fresh flower."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wanted to become a kindergarten teacher like my mother."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had this whole ritual with my mother making the bed with me inside it so I would be invisible."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I thought I was going to be a lot more freaked out by being naked onstage. I think on film I would have been more freaked out, because film is less forgiving. But onstage it's lit so beautifully. It would make my mother look good."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wish I had a great relationship with my mother."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had so many freckles that my mother used to say that they were kisses from the angels. I still have them."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No man is responsible for his father. That was entirely his mother's affair."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."
Worth
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
Wife
"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."
Mother
"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."
Help
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
Home
"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."
Golf
"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."
God
"My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!"
Time
"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."
Money
"My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself."
Time
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