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George Carlin

"Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that's for chumps. And losers, by the way."

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"Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that's for chumps. And losers, by the way."

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George Carlin
"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."
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George Carlin
"On school uniforms Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German."
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George Carlin
"THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police."
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"Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta look my best! Maybe he'll punch me repeatedly in the kidneys and the stomach so it doesn't mark up my face. He's so thoughtful!"
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George Carlin
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."
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George Carlin
"Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be."
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George Carlin
"Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple."
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George Carlin
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
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George Carlin
"Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain."
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George Carlin
"And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little fun. Perhaps a flatbed truck loaded with human cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek reunion. One can only dream and hope."
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