"I want to make a memorial for our turkey. Never has a bird been so tortured to provide such a lousy dinner."

Humor, Irony, Family, Tradition

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"I want to make a memorial for our turkey. Never has a bird been so tortured to provide such a lousy dinner."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Calm, Reassurance, Fear

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Police, Interaction, Social

"WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?"

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Death, Confusion, Box

" Think of how many times you put on your underwear in a lifetime. It was appalling, it was disgusting, it was stupid."

Charles Bukowski, American Author

Humor, Life, Daily, Routine

"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Identity, Giants, Truth

"What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Truth, Happiness, Power, Today

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Appearance, Opinion, Judgment

"Reason like a sphere? What type of reasoning does a wooden sphere do?""The circular type, I should think. And, by coincidence, it is my favorite type as well. Perhaps that's why I'm so good at the game."

Brandon Sanderson, American Author

Humor, Logic, Reason, Games

"Lovemaking is a big grammatical error, i think it should be, LustMaking."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Love, Lust, Language, Truth

"If there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs Jones and talk about fishcakes."

Jeanette Winterson, British Novelist

Humor, Perception, Reality, Imagination

Explore more quotes by Laurie Halse Anderson

"Me: 'All right, but you said we had to put emotion into our art. I don't know what that means. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel."

Expression

"There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore."

Recovery

"I need a new friend. I need a friend, period. Not a true friend, nothing close or share clothes or sleepover giggle giggle yak yak. Just a pseudo-friend, disposable friend. Friend as accessory. Just so I don't feel or look so stupid."

Social

"I stuff my mouth with old fabric and scream until there are no sounds left under my skin."

Trauma

"It was hard to know how to play the game when the rules kept changing."

Uncertainty

"It doesn't matter where I go, I don't want to be there. And then I get to the next place, and I don't want to be there either."

Existentialism

"Revision means throwing out the boring crap and making what's left sound natural."

Creativity

"IT happened. There is no avoiding it, no forgetting. No running away, or flying, or burying, or hiding."

Acceptance

"Too much sun after a Syracuse winter does strange things to your head, makes you feel strong, even if you aren't."

Nature

"In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves."

Fear