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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

"Lovemaking is a big grammatical error, i think it should be, LustMaking."

"If there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs Jones and talk about fishcakes."

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."
Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien

"Oh, yeah, that goatee is really unattractive. That definitely belongs on a much fatter man."

"I hear they're all infected with chlamydia, which just goes to show that you really can't tell who's got the clam. I mean, look at a picture of a koala, tell me you're not shocked."

"By the way, don't thank me for saving you, thank the lifeguards. If it was up to me, I would've just carried you off to the building by the boardwalk that said SURGERY. I'm sorry, but there's a big difference between a family doctor treating you for the sniffles, and a guy who actually owns and knows how to use an operating table."

"Oh, I have plenty of problems with Rabbit, it's just that my comfort level with his name is standing in line behind about a hundred more important things."

"Yeah, that's exactly how I feel when I'm around you: confused, but still satisfied.' I freeze, trying to figure out how to cancel it out and replace it with something that sounds a whole lot less like sex and a candy bar ad."

"I don't need to look at your primal, white-hot, mutant pirate eyes, big guy. Just forget that I'm there, and I'll try to block out the fact that I ever met you. Basically we'll just act like we do every day."
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