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"When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place."
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Exlpore more Family quotes
"But in the real world, you couldnt really just split a family down the middle, mom on one side, dad the other, with the child equally divided between. It was like when you ripped a piece of paper into two: no matter how you tried, the seams never fit exactly right again. It was what you couldn't see, those tiniest of pieces, that were lost in the severing, and their absence kept everything from being complete."
"Sometimes we're so concerned about giving our children what we never had growing up, we neglect to give them what we did have growing up."
"Mothers care in volumes of tears and earnestness of prayers and a depth of emotion others cannot fathom."
"Things that remind me of Mother are these:the truth 'mid deception, a warm summer breeze,the calm within chaos, a stitch in a rip,a comforting blanket, the smile on her lip,an ocean of love in a heart big as whales,the morals in everyday stories she tells,a wink amid laughter, the wisdom in books,the peace in humility, beauty in looks,the light and the life in a ray of the sun,the hard work accomplished disguised as pure fun,concern in a handclasp, encouragement too,the hope in a clear morning sky azure blue,the power in prayers uttered soft and sincere,the faith in a promise, and joy in a tear.These things all attest to the wonder and graceof my precious mother, none else could replace."
"Family isn't something that's supposed to be static, or set. People marry in, divorce out. They're born, they die. It's always evolving, turning into something else."
"He who loses his mother loses a pure soul who blesses and guards him constantly."
"Accuracy is the twin brother of honesty; inaccuracy, of dishonesty."
"So that is marriage, Lily thought, a man and a woman looking at a girl throwing a ball."
Explore more quotes by George Carlin
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up."
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
"When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?"
"People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think."
"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
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