"When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place."

Family, Parenting, Simplicity, Observation, Communication

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"When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place."

Exlpore more Family quotes

"But, as my mother used to tell me, two wrongs don't make a right. But I soon figured out that three left turns do."

Jim Hightower, American Activist

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Virginia Woolf, British Author

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"Here is the real domino theory - gay man to gay man, bisexual man to straight woman, addict mother to newborn baby, they all fall down and someday it will come to you."

Anna Quindlen, American Journalist

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"Mrs. Binnie says we throw out more with a spoon than the men can be bringing in with a shovel...Binnie-like. Our men like the good living. And what if we don't be having too much money, Patsy dear? Sure and we do have lashings of things no money could be buying. There'll be enough squeezed out for Cuddles when the time comes. The Good Man Above will be seeing to that."

L. M. Montgomery, Canadian Author

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"Parents are always more knowledgeable than their children, and children are always smarter than their parents."

Jonathan Safran Foer, American Novelist

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"A new universe is born whenever a new baby is born."

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"I've met plenty of embarrassing parents, but Kronos, the evil Titan Lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization? Not the kind of dad you invited toschool for Career Day."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

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"Of course, everyone's parents are embarrassing. It goes with the territory. The nature of parents is to embarrass merely by existing, just as it is the nature of children of a certain age to cringe with embarrassment, shame, and mortification should their parents so much as speak to them on the street."

Neil Gaiman, British Author

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"Children forget that sometimes. They think of themselves as a burden instead of a wish granted."

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"A father gives his child nothing better than a good education."

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Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better."

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"Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple."

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"You're just another american who is willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick being shoved up your asshole every day... The owners of this country know the truth... it's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it!"

Politics, Critique, America, Awareness, Truth

"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."

Philosophy, Individual, Observation, Independence, Choice

"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."

Hell, Will

"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."

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"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."

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"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."

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"I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share."

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