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"You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.''And yet it is still extremely funny."
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"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."

"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
Explore more quotes by Cecelia Ahern

"I felt that my views and philosophies had been changed overnight. The philosophies that i had gladly carved in stone, recited and danced upon."

"Our minds do unusual things sometimes, Tamara. When we're looking for things it takes it upon itself to go down its own route. All we can do is follow."

"How extraordinary the ordinary really is, a tool we all use to keep going, a template for sanity."

"Time cannot be packaged and ribboned and left under trees for christmas morning.Time can't be given.But it can be shared."

"All families have their secrets, most people would never know them, but they know there are spaces, gaps where the answers should be, where someone should have sat, where someone used to be. A name that is never uttered, or uttered just once and never again. We all have our secrets."

"But with your life you make a few bad decisions, get unlucky a few times, whatever, but you have to keep going, right?"

"He tried to tell me week after week to accept things as they were and move on with my life. But if there was one man who had put his life on hold to wait for something or someone, it was him."

"The most painful moment in my life also became the moment I showed the most strength and courage."

"Sometimes it's best not to know, because even when you know, it doesn't matter anyway. Ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is often a responsibility nobody wants."
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