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"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."
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"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."

"Nirvana was like that- Nirvana was like the only band to come out of that- it was like the same thing, Seattle was like this whole scene and it was like this big scene that was thrust upon America."

"Many of my friends were blacklisted. America should be ashamed of it forever."
Explore more quotes by Groucho Marx

"I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book."

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

"The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths."

"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."

"Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member."
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