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Groucho Marx

"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."

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"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."

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Akiroq Brost

"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."

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"England and America are two countries separated by the same language."

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Akiroq Brost

"In America you need a bodyguard to go out."

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"An asylum for the sane would be empty in America."

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Akiroq Brost

"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."

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Akiroq Brost

"America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few."

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Akiroq Brost

"Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected."

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Akiroq Brost

"Taking the entire globe, if North America and Western Europe can be called the 'cities of the world', then Asia, Africa and Latin America constitute 'the rural areas of the world'."

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Akiroq Brost

"What is going on in America is extreme. The youth cult, they worship youth so much it's almost paranoid. And LA is the Mecca of it all; they're taking it to the hilt."

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Akiroq Brost

"I apologize to coalition forces and all the families, detainees, the families, America and all the soldiers."

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"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
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"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."
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"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
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"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
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"All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."
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"I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it."
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"Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member."
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"Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does."
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"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it."
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"Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?"
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