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Woody Allen

"Bullshit french post-war rationalizing."

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"Bullshit french post-war rationalizing."

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Amber Hurdle

"If [literature] should turn into pure propaganda or pure entertainment, society will slip back into the sty of the immediate -- which is to say, the memoryless existence of hymenoptera and gastropods. None of this is so important, to be sure. The world can get by nicely without literature. But without human beings it can get by better yet."

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Amber Hurdle

"When our gospel promotes too much miracles, we are telling people that it is normal for them to expect something from nothing."

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Amber Hurdle

"Non Violence and Religion: Both designed to keep the oppressed from murdering their oppressors."

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Amber Hurdle

"Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism."

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Amber Hurdle

"Preaching the Gospel in a brutal way is like telling your wife that you love her while she gets a punch right in her face."

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Amber Hurdle

"In your country and mine we should have the privilege of making fun of this kind of morality, but it would be unkind to do it here.Many of these people have the reasoning faculty, but no one uses it in religious matters."

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Amber Hurdle

"Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's a phony. I could puke every time I hear it."

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Amber Hurdle

"All around us were people I had spent ten years avoiding--shapeless women in wool bathing suits, dull-eyed men with hairless legs and self-conscious laughs, all Americans, all fearsomely alike. These people should be kept at home, I thought; lock them in the basement of some goddamn Elks Club and keep them pacified with erotic movies; if they want a vacation, show them a foreign art film; and if they still aren't satisfied, send them into the wilderness and run them with vicious dogs."

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Amber Hurdle

"Don't criticize what you can't understand."

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Amber Hurdle

"Well, well," said he, "do not make yourself unhappy. If you are a good girl for the next ten years, I will take you to a review at the end of them."

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Woody Allen
"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small."
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Woody Allen
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
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Woody Allen
"If I could only see one miracle just one miracle. Like a burning bush or the seas part or my uncle Sasha pick up a check."
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Woody Allen
"I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100."
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Woody Allen
"I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!"
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Woody Allen
"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words."
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Woody Allen
"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness."
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Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
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Woody Allen
"If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse."
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Woody Allen
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."
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