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Erma Bombeck

"What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?"

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"What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Pain is as diverse as man. One suffers as one can."

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Amber Hurdle

"Men become accustomed to poison by degrees."

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Amber Hurdle

"Why is it that many contemporary male thinkers, especially men of color, repudiate the imperialist legacy of Columbus but affirm dimensions of that legacy by their refusal to repudiate patriarchy?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Woman is a vulgar animal from whom man has created an excessively beautiful ideal."

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Amber Hurdle

"Men would rather be starving and free than fed in bonds."

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Amber Hurdle

"If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings of the New, he would be insane."

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Amber Hurdle

"Men weary as much of not doing the things they want to do as of doing the things they do not want to do."

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Amber Hurdle

"If women are supposed to be less rational and more emotional at the beginning of our menstrual cycle when the female hormone is at its lowest level, then why isn't it logical to say that, in those few days, women behave the most like the way men behave all month long?"

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Amber Hurdle

"The skilful employer of men will employ the wise man, the brave man, the covetous man, and the stupid man."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor."

Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
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Erma Bombeck
"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."
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Erma Bombeck
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
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Erma Bombeck
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
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Erma Bombeck
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
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Erma Bombeck
"Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial."
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Erma Bombeck
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
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Erma Bombeck
"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
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Erma Bombeck
"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."
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