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Craig Ferguson

"By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!"

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"By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!"

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Amber Hurdle

"I wanted to make the violence beautiful in order to heighten our revulsion."

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Amber Hurdle

"Nothing Functions Normally Apart From The Principles Of The Kingdom Of God."

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Amber Hurdle

"Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil!"

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Amber Hurdle

"In order to be a diplomat, one must speak a number of languages, including doubletalk."

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Amber Hurdle

"It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy."

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Amber Hurdle

"If they had told me I was the janitor and would have to mop up and clean the toilets after the show in order to play, I probably would have done it."

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Amber Hurdle

"In a certain sense, aspects of my solo playing were developed in order to test the theory about how long particular elements could be, as parts of so-called free improvisations."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have to be in a relationship in order to be intimate. I'm not the one-night-stand kind of girl. Despite the rumors."

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Amber Hurdle

"Our founders did not oust George III in order for us to crown Richard I."

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Amber Hurdle

"Actually when we stopped New Order I was busier than ever. The only gaps have been while we've been writing."

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Craig Ferguson
"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."
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Craig Ferguson
"Jimmy put in a word and told them that if I made it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself without paying them back. That I'd sooner die than owe anyone money for helping me. Apparently Jimmy knew more about me at that point than I knew about myself."
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Craig Ferguson
"Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. Like when a bumblebee flies or an ancient regime is toppled."
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Craig Ferguson
"I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger."
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Craig Ferguson
"Sometimes people think you're smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else."
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Craig Ferguson
"On that same tour we ran into a band at Aylesbury Friars, a biggish venue in Oxfordshire, England. They were a four - piece from Ireland called U2. They seemed like nice fellows and they sounded pretty good, but we didn't keep in touch. They're probably taxi drivers and accountants by now."
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Craig Ferguson
"When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English."
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Craig Ferguson
"Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape."
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Craig Ferguson
"It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure."
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Craig Ferguson
"My mother was tickled and I think kind of proud when my father got hit on my an attractive middle - aged Asian lady who hadn't noticed he was with his family. He was certainly pleased about it."
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