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Exlpore more Comedy quotes
"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
Explore more quotes by Mo Rocca
"If there's one thing that everyone can agree on, it's that, right or wrong, they hate the press."
"Honestly we never lied to people about who we were. Usually the wackier interviews came to pass because the interview subjects, aware that we were Comedy Central, just wanted to get their stories out."
"It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict."
"The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced that other people will think it is, well they won't."
"No, no, no separate but equal... never the twain shall meet. And the pendulum kept swinging and it came to rest in the bastard hybrid known as the Daily Show."
"Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously."
"It's one of my favorite things to do, watch TV and stretch. I'm so flexible. I can put my legs behind my head. I want to be the most flexible person in the world."
"When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny."
"I'm in fact a hair under six feet, but I'm very svelte. People would never see me if I turned sideways."
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