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"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I can cry at the drop of the pin. But comedy is hard for me; it's the timing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I've mainly been in dramas, so this is one of my first comedy kind of performances in Cecil B. Demented."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I'm in fact a hair under six feet, but I'm very svelte. People would never see me if I turned sideways."
People
"Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously."
Politics
"It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict."
Conflict
"Honestly we never lied to people about who we were. Usually the wackier interviews came to pass because the interview subjects, aware that we were Comedy Central, just wanted to get their stories out."
People
"It's interesting, because I tend to trust a man with big ears."
Trust
"If there's one thing that everyone can agree on, it's that, right or wrong, they hate the press."
Hate
"When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny."
Fun
"The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced that other people will think it is, well they won't."
Fun
"Hypocrisy is great fodder for comedy."
Comedy
"It's one of my favorite things to do, watch TV and stretch. I'm so flexible. I can put my legs behind my head. I want to be the most flexible person in the world."
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