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Joan Rivers

"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds."

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"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds."

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Donna Grant

"I believe in using words, not fists. I believe in my outrage knowing people are living in boxes on the street. I believe in honesty. I believe in a good time. I believe in good food. I believe in sex."

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Donna Grant

"There is no way that writers can be tamed and rendered civilized or even cured. The only solution known to science is to provide the patient with an isolation room, where he can endure the acute stages in private and where food can be poked in to him with a stick."

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Donna Grant

"Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him."

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Donna Grant

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead."

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Donna Grant

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned... a man in a jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company."

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Donna Grant

"On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners."

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Donna Grant

"I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead."

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Donna Grant

"I used to hang out by the food table at parties because you don't have to talk to anybody. If you do then you can talk about the food."

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Donna Grant

"At home I serve the kind of food I know the story behind."

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Donna Grant

"Every major food company now has an organic division. There's more capital going into organic agriculture than ever before."

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Joan Rivers
"Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be."

Will

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Joan Rivers
"Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top."

Oil

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Joan Rivers
"Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress."

Dress

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Joan Rivers
"I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are."

People

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Joan Rivers
"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."

Time

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Joan Rivers
"Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer."

Love

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Joan Rivers
"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."

God

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Joan Rivers
"If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor."

God

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Joan Rivers
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."

Control

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Joan Rivers
"The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found."

Beauty

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