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"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds."
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"Just as the soul fills the body, so God fills the world. Just as the soul bears the body, so God endures the world. Just as the soul sees but is not seen, so God sees but is not seen. Just as the soul feeds the body, so God gives food to the world."

"If a State has reliable scientific information that demonstrates that a warning is needed for a particular food, then in the interest of public health, it should share that information with the FDA and petition for a new national standard."
Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers

"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash."

"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."

"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."

"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."

"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."

"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."
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