"FatherMichael:OK we should get on with this; I don't want to be late for my 2 o'clock. First I have to ask, is there anyone in here who thinks there is any reason why these two should not be married?LonelyLady:Yes.SureOne:I could give more than one reason.Buttercup:Hell yes.SoOverHim:DON'T DO IT!"

Humor, Marriage, Conflict, Decision

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"FatherMichael:OK we should get on with this; I don't want to be late for my 2 o'clock. First I have to ask, is there anyone in here who thinks there is any reason why these two should not be married?LonelyLady:Yes.SureOne:I could give more than one reason.Buttercup:Hell yes.SoOverHim:DON'T DO IT!"

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Mark Twain, American Author

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"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Literary

Explore more quotes by Cecelia Ahern

"Yesterday was a closed book, tomorrow, however, was another story."

Life

"I never grew up thinking the goal in life was to be a millionaire. All the way through college, I had a part-time job. I worked hard to get the things that you need at that age."

Success

"Sometimes we have absolutely no idea where we are, we need the smallest clue to show us where to begin."

Exploration

"I don't want to beone of those easily forgotten people, so important at the time, so special, soinfluential, and so treasured, yet years later just a vague face and a distantmemory."

Human

"People come and go."

Philosophy

"People forget they have options. And they forget that those things don't really matter. They should concentrate on what they have and not what they don't have. And by the way, wishing and dreaming doesn't mean concentrating on what you don't have, it's positive thinking that encourages hoping and believing, not whinging and moaning."

Mindfulness

"Above Constance's desk were nude photographs of women in 1930s France, draped in provocative poses. She had put them there for Bob's viewing pleasure and in return he had placed African art of naked men above his desk for her."

Relationship

"I never wanted anything new; from the age of ten, I was convinced that you couldn't replace what was lost. I insisted on things on having to be found."

Life

"Power. It's all about that, don't you forget. People want money or power."

Society

"But you are proof that you can think you know someone yet never really know them at all."

Insight