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"If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers."
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"There are some sounds that English singers find quite difficult to manipulate."

"Speaks cheerful English and in the past has written this language with a paintbrush that talks."

"Jeez, Hazel," Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language."Hazel tried not to laugh. "What did he say?""With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top."Frank looked incredulous. "I thought the horse couldn't fly!"This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing."Dude," Percy told the horse, "I've gotten suspended for saying less than that..."

"Perhaps then one reason why we have no great poet, novelist or critic writing today is that we refuse to allow words their liberty. We pin them down to one meaning, their useful meaning: the meaning which makes us catch the train, the meaning which makes us pass the examination."
Explore more quotes by Doug Larson

"For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work."

"Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog."

"There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own."

"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend."

"The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice."
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