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"I never say a funny thing intentionally."
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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
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"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
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"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
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"A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it."
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Personal Development

"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
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Personal Development

"Things that go on at Happy Times are very funny this year, and if you were watching last year, some of the people you saw then as basically extras emerge as real characters in their own right this season, at least to some degree."
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"But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know."
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Personal Development

"Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out."
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Personal Development

"The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining."
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"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
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"I just loved and love life. I love it today."
Love

"I respect his talents, even as he does mine."
Respect

"There is only one secret. To love what you are doing."
Love

"I would write plays for my grandmother, who was stone deaf, my mother and the dog, that was our audience."
Mother

"I never say a funny thing intentionally."
Funny

"Steve is very quiet, even shy. I am very gregarious. So, opposites."
Opposites

"Marriage, even the best marriages are tough."
Marriage

"The best people I know have had a lot of obstacles to overcome."
People

"I cannot write music. I cannot play the piano."
Music

"I never look at a note. I just roam the stage. The people do not want to leave."
People
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