"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam."

People, Bible, Thinking

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"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam."

Exlpore more People quotes

"It is not actual suffering but the taste of better things which excites people to revolt."

Eric Hoffer, American Writer

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"We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started."

Henry Ward Beecher, American Clergyman

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"I believe that in every country the people themselves are more peaceably and liberally inclined than their governments."

Franklin D. Roosevelt, American President

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"Some people displease with merit, and others' very faults and defects are pleasing."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

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"Self-interest makes some people blind, and others sharp-sighted."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

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"People generally quarrel because they cannot argue."

Gilbert K. Chesterton, English Writer

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"People's personalities, like buildings, have various facades, some pleasant to view, some not."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

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"There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man's lawful prey."

John Ruskin, English Writer

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"How long most people would look at the best book before they would give the price of a large turbot for it?"

John Ruskin, English Writer

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Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it'll be today again."

Life

"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."

Relationship

"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."

Society

"I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in."

Philosophy

"So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family."

Humor

"Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name."

Self-Help

"Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them."

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"Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed."

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"You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble."

Life

"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."

Philosophy