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George Carlin

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam."

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"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam."

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George Carlin
"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

Time

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George Carlin
"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."

People

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George Carlin
"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."

Listening

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George Carlin
"Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established."

Example

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George Carlin
""I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?"

Language

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George Carlin
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam."

People

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George Carlin
"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

Purpose

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George Carlin
"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."

Truth

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George Carlin
"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

America

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George Carlin
"There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past."

Future

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Aberjhani

"The people who are absent are the ideal; those who are present seem to be quite commonplace."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"People can have many different kinds of pleasure. The real one is that for which they will forsake the others."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Other people's beliefs may be myths, but not mine."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"We don't get to know people when they come to us; we must go to them to find out what they are like."

Author Name

Personal Development

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