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"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."
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"I was encouraged by my mother and, to a lesser extent, by my father."

"Madlen came to sit beside her on the bed. "Lady Queen," she said with her own particular brand of rough gentleness. "It is not the job of the child to protect her mother. It's the mother's job to protect the child. By allowing your mother to protect you, you gave her a gift. Do you understand me?"

"My mother had lots and lots of children who didn't survive."
Explore more quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are a lot of self righteous people out there. And if you try to adjust your life to please them - by the way you dress, your sexuality, or the ass faces you like to make - you are just going to go crazy and risk being as unhappy as these self righteous kooks are. So enjoy your life. God gave us our bodies as a gift.(Granted, to some of us it's kind of a gag gift, but that's okay too.) Wear what you want, love who you want, and have fun."

"Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow."

"You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled."

"The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime's Funniest Person in America. And that's a really tough title to travel around with when you're not even known."

"We should be grateful for them because without our family-the ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day-life is pretty boring."

"Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. 'Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie.' And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science."

"I was raised in an atmosphere of 'everything's fine.' But as I got older, I was like, 'Well no, everything's not fine. There is stuff that's sad.' I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes."

"I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I'm a human trying to make it through in this world."
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