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"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."

Woody Allen, American Director

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"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."

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"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small."

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

"If I could only see one miracle just one miracle. Like a burning bush or the seas part or my uncle Sasha pick up a check."

"I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100."

"I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!"

"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words."

"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness."

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

"If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse."

"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."

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