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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it."

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

"The fun we'll have tonight is called figging."

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

"I just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me.He squinted at her. You ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer? I think itstarts about age three.What about men?They get used to it. They better."
Explore more quotes by Mark Twain

"The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little."

"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

"There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency and a virtue and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency and a vice."

"He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it, namely, that, in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain."

"The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe."

"Life itself is only a vision, a dream.""Nothing exists; all is a dream. God--man--the world--the sun, the moon, the wilderness of stars--a dream, all a dream; they have no existence. Nothing exists save empty space--and you!"
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